What Not To Dye Green This St. Patrick's Day In North Dakota

St. Patrick's Day is almost here, and I know you're probably excited to dress up in green and drink a ton of green beers with your friends. Some of us like to go all out and really get into the holiday spirit. With that in mind, I put together a list of things you absolutely should not dye green if you live in North Dakota.

1. Bath Water

You might want to treat yourself to a luxurious bath this St. Patrick's Day, so you light some candles, grab a book, and throw a green colored bath bottom in the water. Look, I know some people really like bath bombs, and I myself do like them, but word of caution. If you are a woman and you use bath bombs regularly, beware. Too many bath bombs can and will cause lady problems...IYKYK.

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2. Bread

Anytime I’ve ever seen green on bread, I’ve not thought good things. Usually, that indicates there’s mold. If you plan on serving green bread to your friends and family, just to prepare yourself for the fact that they may not eat because it doesn’t look too appetizing.

3. Your Dog

Look, I know how fun it would look to have a green pekapoo you can walk around Bismarck-Mandan with, but leave that poor animal alone.

4. Eggs

We remember this from the Dr. Seuss book green eggs and ham, so it makes sense to want to dye eggs green, but if you ask parents, they say that their kids just simply won’t eat them. I've been told that kids think they are “yucky.” I'd avoid green eggs and maybe go for green cookies, cupcakes, or shamrock shakes.

5. Hair

Last, but not least, your hair. I’ve done this many times; I’ve decided to color my hair crazy colors. While it says it washes out, green is one of those colors that linger. Even the sprays don’t come out after the first second or third wash. Green is a hard color to pull off, anyway, so I’m doing you a favor.

That's it! Have fun with your St. Paddy's Day shenanigans.